Posted by Laura
Spain, shmain! Who needs sunny European climes when you can have the golden sunshine, glittering parties and glam lifestyle of LA? What David Beckham may lose in football cred by working for LA Galaxy (no, that’s not the name of some dodgy nightclub in Scunthorpe, though it should be), Posh will gain in amazing opportunities to do what she does best – pose and get papped. Her exact occupation may be unknown at present – pick any from housewife, failed solo singer, professional best friend or all-round clothes horse – but one thing’s for sure, while Becks is busy training with the likes of Santino Quaranta and Landon Donovan (yes, really!), there’ll be plenty to occupy her time in LA.
Here’s 10 ways she could while away the hours.
1) Become a Scientologist. Maybe hanging out with Tom and Katie for so long could have had some impact. Still, it looks like Scientology could really offer someone like Victoria some real spiritual enlightenment. According to its UK site, the Church of Scientology offers answers to society’s "most crucial" questions. No more dilemmas about whether to go for the Prada or the Gucci handbag then, Posh. Phew!
2) First there was Hilton, then Lohan, and who could forget the latest recruit, the legendary Ms Spears!? Could Victoria be the next member of LA’s No-Knickers Club? We think she’d rather have David wearing hers anyway.
3) She’s done pop, she dabbled in R’n’B, perhaps Posh could try her hand at cracking the LA music scene with her own brand of gangsta rap: Straight Outta Congleton – Posh lyricises about her experiences in the tough Cheshire suburbs while David was playing for Man United.
4) Become governor of California. Arnie proved that you don’t have to be American or a great politician to do it – and Posh has admirably become the queen of the career change, with very few qualifications.
5) Be Scary Spice’s babysitter. Posh’s former bandmate sure will have her hands full when she gives birth to her next child in a few months. She could give her a few fashion tips while she’s at it. Scary’s outfits have certainly been living up to her moniker recently.
6) Seek out the biggest pair of shades ever. Any self-respecting pouting princess is never seen in LA without a mammoth hulk of eyewear perched on her nose. The bigger the star, the larger the lenses. Will Posh finally find the pair that eclipses her whole head?
7) Plan for baby Beckham number four. There’s plenty of inspiration for names out there; Brooklyn, Romeo, and then the very Spanish-influenced Cruz. Let’s hope if the Beckhams do have another child it’s a girl – Malibu Beckham is not the name for a young boy, especially if they want him to play football.
8) Audition for a part as the next bitchy fashion guru on Ugly Betty. Victoria already has the aloof fashionista glare down to a fine art, all she needs now is the acting credentials. Well, we’re sure Spiceworld: the Movie should put her at the top of any casting director’s list.
9) Become Nicole Richie’s new best friend. Poor Nicole, even slender Mischa looks a bit tubby next to her. Being snapped arm-in-arm with Posh may be just what she needs to look shapely again.
10) Bring out the new Victoria Beckham wonder food. From drinks to diet supplements, anyone who’s anyone in LA has their name on a beverage or food of some sort. The amazing Posh foodstick, perhaps? It looks like celery, tastes like celery, and you burn more calories eating it than are in it. Oh, hang on, it is celery! But with the right celebrity branding it could make millions.
Do you have any suggestions? Let us know.