A barometer of Britain today

Posted by Laura
 
Apologies, we’ve been remiss. Here on the homepage team we’ve managed to commit the carnal sin of blogging – that is, um, not blogging. There are many factors we can blame for out 10-day silence – staff holidays, time pressures, the absence of anything to inspire or entertain us enough to warrant putting fingers to keyboard and writing – but there really is no excuse. However, perhaps we have done readers a favour. We recently received feedback claiming our last few entries were “jaw-cracking yawners of the lowest order”. Well, it is silly season. Maybe not inflicting our frivolous musings on frivolous news non-events on the public was the best thing we could have done.
 
But the blog blackout ends here. To ease our way back into the routine we’ve compiled a list of all things that have provoked debate in the team over our past 10 days of insularity – and ranked them accordingly in our Homepage Blog Barometer. See if you agree with our decisions.
 
Going up:
 
Leaving Britain

We’re not just talking about fleeing these sodden isles to dry off for a week or so – latest figures show more Brits than ever are choosing to live abroad. It seems turning one’s back on Blighty is the new cool thing to do. It doesn’t have to be forever, but how can you know how green (or otherwise) the grass of home is until you have something to compare it to?

 

Comfort food
We don’t care if Gillian McKeith could line up all the Krispy Kremes, pasties and pies we’ve eaten in the past week and be unable to compute the amount of calories in one place, they’re tasty and they make us happy.

Stand-up comedy

Hooray for people making us laugh. Homepage ed Dom spent eight days in Edinburgh watching the likes of Russell Kane, Simon Amstell, Frankie Boyle and Rhod Gilbert. It was so good he almost forgot he had to stay in the Scottish equivalent of Royston Vasey because it was the only town left with vacant rooms.

 

GCSEs

So much more fun than A-levels, aren’t they? And getting a star after your grade has got to feel good.

 

Autumn

Woolly jumpers, falling leaves, pubs with open fires and an expectation that the weather is supposed to be rainy. Bring it on!

 

Going Down:
 
Goalkeepers

Robinson, Robinson, Robinson – what is going on? Bring back Seaman, I say. Actually, when he’s not ice dancing, the erstwhile England keeper is having past-life regression therapy on bizarre daytime TV shows. The programme in question revealed David had subconscious memories reminiscent of him being Richard the Lionheart in a former lifetime. Suggestions, please, for who Robinson was in his past incarnations.

 

Pete and Kate

Are they? Aren’t they? Who cares?

 

Flip-flops

So what if you spent a fortune on Havaianas to match your every outfit – wet feet = verrucas, verrucas = BAD.

 

EastEnders old actors’ network
We could just about handle Phil Daniels once being married to the dodgy lag from Bad Girls, and accept (in very dim light) Sam Janus being distantly related to Phil Mitchell, but that bloke from The Bill being Pat’s “love interest” is surely the most implausible piece of casting yet.
 
Time
Why is there never, ever enough of it? No sooner do schools break up, then the shops are filled with ‘back to school’ promotions. Surely someone could invent the light-minute, which passes slowly enough to get more done, but not slow enough to age you too much.
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5 Responses to A barometer of Britain today

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