Underground rap

Posted by Paul

"I’m errr…. I’m waiting… waiting… wait… ting… hmmmm".

It might sound like a scene from Alan Partridge but it’s actually the words I heard this morning through the crackling Tannoy on my stationary Tube train this morning.

London Underground drivers would appear to have been given a directive to communicate regularly with passengers to ease the grinding torture of being trapped in a carriage deep beneath the ground with no air con and no idea when your journey will end.

I prefer the old way. You bury your head in a book and try to forget about where you are.

That is no longer an option.

This morning the driver spoke to us no less than 25 times. Once was just to cough violently into the loudspeaker. On at least 10 occasions, he announced that we were stuck at a red signal. Each time the train moved he felt the need to inform us that our moving train was in fact moving. There were half a dozen references to signal failure at High Street Kensington that he’d heard about from a friend. How can a Victoria Line train in North East London 50m below ground level be affected by District Line problems in South West London at ground level?

He’d be as well blaming traffic congestion in New Delhi.

"I’m not a prophet but I reckon that there will be a severe delays for the next 15 minutes". In what way is that helpful?

I travelled every day for two years on the Glasgow Underground. No 20 red light stoppages. No leaves on the line. No signal failure. No strikes. No passengers under a train. No excuses. None needed. It just worked.

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36 Responses to Underground rap

  1. D says:

    Granted, the Glasgow underground is very good (i personally use it every day) but it is tiny in comparison with the London underground! Its like comparing traffic in a rural country road to the M25!!!

  2. Homepage says:

    Hi Johan,
     
    I don\’t see why I shouldn\’t compare the stretch of the Victoria Line I use every day (11 stops from Walthamstow to London) to the service in Glasgow, which I recall is 15 stops in total, especially as it costs an awful lot more down south. Also, if it was simply a case of the bigger the network the greater the chaos, then Paris and Moscow (both larger than London) would be horrendous, but they\’re not. They work fine and they don\’t charge exorbitant amounts for tickets.
     
    Paul

  3. Liane says:

    People moan about not being kept informed and now people moan about being informed!!!!!!!!
    London Underground try to give up to date information, they also try and repair faults as quickly as possible. With signal failure it is not a faulty bulb, it could be a number of saftey issues including faulty points or tripcock. Engineers have 5 minutes to repair some faults then they must let that train pass and then try again and because it is in a tunnel they use the train that you are on as protection ( as there is not a place of saftey underground) so that they don\’t get run down. 
    May I suggest that if you do not want to hear any information in the future, then do what most customers do and play you Ipod as loud as you can so that you can then moan that you were not kept informed. 
     
     

  4. Liane says:

    Sorry spelling error………….SAFETY

  5. Michael says:

    do u no the Glasgow system doesnt need 2 hav a driver just an assuring thing but hey u luv a freindly face

  6. Unknown says:

    It\’s not just the physical size of the network – the Glasgow subway only carries about 36,000 passengers per day, that\’s about 14 million passengers per year, compare that with the 165 million on the victoria line – and you get some idea of why there are more problems on the Victoria line, than a single line, 15 station network. 
     
    And of course, the Glasgow system was completely refurbished in 1980 whilst the Victoria Line and most of it\’s rolling stock dates back to 1967. 
     
    The problem is that journalists always state the obvious – the tube is a bit rubbish.  We already know that!  So what can be done? 
     
    It\’s clear that if we are to have the kind of tube system that we want to have then vast sums of money need to be spent overhauling all the infrastructure.  Whether we pay for it directly in increased fares, or via increased tax, we will have to pay for it.  
     
    But lets have a grown up debate rather than stating the obvious. 
     
    A better tube system would improve Londoners quality of life, business would benefit (how much business is lost when people are stuck on the tube instead of sat at their desk, not to mention employees low morale after a nightmare tube journey), it would boost tourism and help improve London\’s image around the world, not to mention the boost to our self esteem. 
     
    But how much are we willing to spend to bring this about? 
     

  7. Peter says:

    yer, aye think if we repatriate all da foreign immigrants in London bi putting dem in da concentration camp so dey ave ta work 4 der plane fare home may solve da congestion problem in London underground, cos only us PROUD WHITE BRITS are allowed to travel on the underground, innit.

  8. Liane says:

    The tube is overcrowded, we know! but you don\’t have to be a mastermind to work out why. Too many people travelling at the same time.
    On the bank branch of the northern line there is a southbound train every 1 -1.5 minutes in morning peak and they are still packed.
    London Underground are now telling you when there is a good service operating to reverse your negative thoughts of the tube system and it is a good system. Apart from equipment failures there would be a good service most of the time but lets no forget those of us who hold doors open or just have to read the next chapter of harry potter  

  9. Shaun says:

    Wow, Roland the BNP homo chav sounds like an uneducated idiot!!

  10. Roy says:

    London V Glasgow…No Contest really when you consider the sizes of the two cities.
     
    Of course the London Tube is over crowded, everywhere in London is over crowded.  Glasgow is no where near as over crowded as The Smoke,   So stop making comparrisions.   Johan has summed it up nicely.   Don\’t compare Paris or Moscow or any other Subway to Londons tube, because, love it or hate it, there is simply nothing to compare it with in the world.

  11. Peter says:

    Yes I daresay the Glasgow underground system does run more efficiently than London’s and I do have some slight personal experience of it – several years ago I spent three very pleasant days in Glasgow and used it then; but the Scottish system consists of a single ring of 15 stations.  Not really very much to go wrong  is there!
     
    London’s  network on the other hand is an interlocking system of  12 lines (nearly as many lines as Glasgow has stations) and 268 stations.  In 2007 it carried 1 billion passengers.  That’s over 3 million a day!  In other words there is far more to go wrong than in sleepy little provincial  Glasgow, so it is unsurprising that more does go wrong. 
     
    As for talking drivers, it is well known by regular users that some drivers, however intellectually challenged and however uninteresting their output might sound, just love the sound of their own voices. 
     
    But I am grateful to the extoller of the Glasgow service for reminding me of the joy there is in not having to travel to work every day.  I may be getting older, but I am able to age in a relatively stress-free environment from hereon in.  Thanks again!

  12. dougie says:

    The underground in Glasgow is quick and efficient, but bloody tiny!. On an other note Glasgow like many other cities is just a giant flea market that smells of piss and fag smoke like an old tramp. The place is ful of neds and unemployed people with nothing to do but watch Jeremy Kyle and drink cider!. I do not care what anyone says, unless you stay in the ivory towers of Glasgow; Bearsden, Milngavie, Newton Mearns etc, Glasgow is shit!. If you disagree stand in any area of the city centre for more than five minutes and you wil feel vulnerable from all the wasters milling around making the city look like some slavic outpost full sunken cheeked, scar ridden and vacant eyed faces. The place is the pits! anyone who says other wise stays somewhere nice! where they do not face these bums 24 hours a day. Go to Castlemilk, Drumchapel,Easterhouse, Govan all now starting to become up and coming, scratch the bloody surface and the lice scurry around!. Face up to it, it is time to take back the streets, get these buggers away from our town centres, challenge them, feel safe in our homes. When I was at secondary school mid early eighties the vast majority of people were ok, just normal folk with a few mad dafties per class. You know the ones! they smelled of butter and were always in trouble. Now its the other ways around, average class say 25 pupils, decent folk maybe 8 – waster third generation unemployed, no stigma not giving a shit, the broo will pay me for life, one strike away from prison shits 17!!!!!.
     
    Thats it i am away for a lie down
     
    REMEMBER    TAKE BACK THE STREETS!

  13. chris says:

    Wow the guy below is a twat. Just a reminder to u the post is about the underground systems between two cities u dont have to slag Glasgow city off London does have the same problems as does every city in the country.

  14. Nicole says:

    Glasgow is an amazing city! Fair enough, the Underground only goes to certain parts of the city, but the trains and buses are fairly reliable! I\’m from the East end of Glasgow, I may not have been brought up in \’The Ivory Towers\’ but I\’m well educated, well mannered and proud of where I come from. I had to move to Edinburgh, the so called Capital, for work and I am back in Glasgow at least 3times a week because I miss it so much.London is MASSIVE and there\’s a huge difference in the Glasgow underground which takes about 40mins to go right the way round (done this before, was drunk and missed my stop!) and London which takes about a week to go round each line.Unfortunately, no matter where you are in the world, public transport will always have issues, we just need to be patient and leave 5mins earlier in the morning! LoL! 🙂

  15. janet says:

    Hi All,
     
    I am a Glaswegian living in London,lived here for 24yrs, the undergroung in London is great, amazing hopping on and off,thats the fun of it,you cant compare Glasgow\’s clockwork underground system to the mighty London Underground,hot sweaty and can be hell during the rush hour,my main concern is in London we have to sort out the system b4 the 2012 games.Try the Merto system in New york, now thats a talking point lol.Have a nice day!

  16. Bryan says:

    to the k u n t who slated glasgow meet me in george square son and ill knock abit of glasgow humour intae ye ya wee bastard!

  17. Unknown says:

        I recently went to London with my wife and daughter, for a 3 day break. All i can say is that the underground, although a bit tatty and somewhat satanic, does actually work. It does a very good job under rather trying circumstances, and is the only real way of travelling round the city. The only thing it really needs is a good dose of tidying up and some new stock, then it will once again be the envy of the world. One word of warning though, dont try the stairs at Covent Garden, they will kill you!

  18. Terry says:

    HiWell I can\’t really see how you can stand the London Underground against that of Glasgow – Perhaps the Tyne and Wear METRO would be fair as it is a pretty fair match but still larger.  London Underground is very old. in need of being brought into the 21st century as well as needing millions of Pounds investment.  Not really a fair debate this one.

  19. Louis says:

    Come to Bristol, you will love our transport system!!  (There isn\’t one)

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